Love is your Colour
''How would you know? You haven't even been in love before'', he said. I had no retort. He's right, I believed. But the more I thought about it, the less convinced I was. Was it true? Haven't I been in Love? Depends on how you would define love...
I have loved with all my heart, a handful of people... My Glove- all Six of them [Al, Indu, Mij, Sneha, Mash and Vaish]. Well, Seven if you include me, narcissistic that I am :). I have loved them more than anything in the world. It might not be a romantic kind, but there was a certain Romance to it. My gal brigade from the grad days, Shutti n Rashi :). Astha... the bestest friend I could have asked for...I have loved them very much.
My Kuttan, my joy. Every time I see him, I am filled with an overpowering sense of love. Unconditionally... I love him.
My family... whose pride and joy I am [:D]. There's bitter-sweet love there.
But I'm sure this wasn't the kind of love he meant, when a friend and I got around to talking about it.
Romantic Love... Do I believe in it? Do I believe in Eternal-Forever-Love? Of course, I do. I thrive on it. I dream of it. I adore the idea. I run around singing love songs. I'm a sucker for fairy tales... I believe they do come true. I have seen my friends have their fairy-tale romances.
But will I ever have it? Ahh, now That is the question.
I would speculate on that and say 'No'. I couldn't possibly have a fairy tale romance. Why? Because I am the kind who has even a crush on someone only once in every ten years. That's why. :D
I don't know if that is because I think too much?? Or too little perhaps. Am I tactless... or obsessive? I don't know...
People usually make a big fuss when they fall in love. I, on the other hand, was elated over a Crush. It was big deal, Ok?! I was glad I would not have to go through life with just One crush to boast about. So I am thankful it happened :) [so were my friends.... but mostly they were relieved :D]
First, the quick blush of happiness, the beating wings of excitement. Then the frown and the averted eyes... But this is a roller-coaster ride I should have been booked on long before... ;)
This new-found sentiment has already done me a world of good. I realize what heartbreak is when a friend talks about it... I appreciate the fact that I am not alone in feeling what I feel, because I can talk to someone who is as DysLoveSick as me :). And I kid you not, I really believe I can emote better now, onstage while dancing, the expressions which were till now hearsay.
:) All this... just because I have a crush? Haha, I hear ya.
But I'm sure, when I do fall head-over-heels in love, it would be a carnival of ideals, dreams and discovery....
I just got to find my Prince Charming/Circus Clown, who would race me to the Moon and back!!